Why It Would Be Kick Arse To Be...

I have a rich fantasy life. You have to when your imagination is a far better alternative to the toilet bowl in which you live (not that it isn't a nice toilet bowl. Rent-controlled, incidentally). So here are some examples of people I would rather be, and the reasons why.

Latest Updates:

10-3-03 Why It Would Kick Arse To Be A Character In The Film 'Logan's Run': Fish, and sea greens, and plankton, and protein from the sea. (Yahtzee)
2-28-03 Why It Would Kick Arse To Be A Piece Of Chewing Gum That Has Been Chewed A Little Bit But Not Too Much: One of Yahtzee's less riveting treatises. (Yahtzee)
1-10-03 Why it would kick arse to be Spider-Man: This article would probably have been more relevant if I could have been arsed to write it around the time of the video release. (Yahtzee)
7-5-02 Why it Would be Kickarse to be Garrett: The benefits of being the backstabbing main character from the game Thief. (Yahtzee)
4-5-02 Why it Would Kick Arse to be an RPG Character: Impressive armor, fantastic weapons, murder by numbers... the list goes on and on. (Yahtzee)
2-1-02 Why It Would Kick Arse To Be Jesus: Being the famous religious son of God guy has its perks. (Yahtzee)
12-21-01 Why it Would Kick Arse to be Father Christmas: Let's face it... the fat man has got it made! (Yahtzee)
11-9-01 Why it Would be Kickarse to be the Pope: With apologies to Sinead O'Connor. (Yahtzee)
8-24-01 Why it Would be Kickarse to be Mario: Yahtzee breaks down the pros and cons of being the world's most notorious plumber. (Yahtzee)
6-23-01 Why it Would Kick Arse to be Freddy Krueger: Something we've all known for a long time, but no-one's been able to put into words. (Yahtzee)
4-14-01 Why it Would Kick Arse to be a Pokemon Trainer: Not only would it kick arse, it would also make everyday household tasks a lot easier. (Yahtzee)
3-31-01 Why it Would Kick Arse to be Arnold J. Rimmer: Yes it would kick arse, and no I haven't gone mad. (Yahtzee)
3-3-01 Why it would Kick Arse to be Captain of the Enterprise: Just let me know when I start saying the obvious. (Yahtzee)
2-23-01 Why it Would Kick Arse to be Undead: WARNING! Intro cartoon for this article not suitable for young children! (Yahtzee)
2-3-01 Why it Would Kick Arse to be Lara Croft: I saw this one coming a mile off. (Yahtzee)
1-27-01 Why it Would Kick Arse to be Guybrush Threepwood: Let no-one say I don't really play adventure games anymore. (Yahtzee)
1-6-01 Why it Would Kick Arse to be Invisible: As Kevin Bacon should have noted. (Yahtzee)