Overheard conversation from the office of Max Hammeron: "I totally ran over a skunk on the way to work. I know the first time you run over a skunk it's supposed to be traumatic and you need to bathe in tomato juice and stuff... but I couldn't care less. I'd do it again in a minute. The weird thing is I wasn't in a car. I just ran over the little mother."
Through the wafer-thin walls between me and Max Hammeron, I overheard some high-powered business talk.
Apparently Tegrisome has a three-pronged corporate strategy. Two of the prongs are secret. They are secret prongs.
The public prong is "Integrity."
Wonder what the other two prongs are.
Tegrisome is announcing an open position for an Information Specialist. Candidates should be motivated, talented, and have at least two years experience in web design and information architecture. A B.A. in computer science or the equivalent is preferred. Hey! That's my job!
The Tegrisome company retreat was held this weekend at the house of Max Hammeron, Tegrisome company VP. Activities included a barbecue and a golf putting contest. All attendees reported having a good time and feeling an increased sense of bonding and competetive spirit, even those who did not participate in the putting contest.
Recent developments in the spelling of the word "rispect" have raised questions about the validity of the name of their company. "Tegrisome will stand behind its name," says Tegrisome president Hugh Clutch. "Tegrisome has always been about rispect, and whether that's spelled with an I or an E, that's not going to change. Besides, we are already deep in negotiations with GoDaddy.com for the domain name, and we have all this stationary."
It has been brought to our attention that the word "rispect," which is an integral part of our company motto, is actually spelled "respect". "Rispect" also provides the middle syllable of the word "tegrisome".
Company VP Max Hammeron assures us, "We are doing everything in our power to correct this mistake. First we must verify that 'respect' is actually spelled with an E. Then we can proceed as we deem appropriate."
I took an online quiz today about my favorite movie, The Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of The Ring starring Sean Bean, son of Orson Bean, and rightful heir to the Bean estate.
If I were a character in The Lord of the Rings, I would be Boromir, Man of Gondor, proud heir to the Steward Denethor II, and elder brother of Faramir.
In the movie, I am played by Sean Bean.
I'm pretty sure. I've been working here for like a month and no one has even talked about what our product is. We meet with companies and that's it. But I'm pretty sure we're not consultants because sometimes we meet with consultants.
Tegrisome is considering opening a subsidiary branch in India, which is rich in technology professionals and provides almost unlimited growth potential, is what I think that headline means. Either that or some mulls are arming in India. Yikes!
Tegrisome VP Max Hammeron frequently brings up cyanide pills. It's always in a joking way, like, "Long week today, right? If it gets too bad, you always have your company-issued cyanide pills!" I think he thinks we actually have cyanide pills.