• Laura Reviews: Psych
  • Rainbow Connection Confusion
    more..
  • Jacques Gets His Own Website!
  • A Wishbone Young Readers Adventure!
    more..
  • I'm Off
  • Everything I Wanted to Know About Michael Jackson I Learned From 'Moonwalker' for the Sega Genesis
    more..
  • Features

    Message BoardMessage Board
    CreditsCredits
    Buy StuffBuy Stuff
    Lance and EskimoL&E Home

    Friends

  • The Content-Free Vegeta Girl Zone
  • The Lewgosset Musk World Domination Page
    more..
  • Flash

  • Glen Yarbrough
  • The L&E Boyfriend Generator
    more..
  • Fun

  • This Glorious City Weather Report
  • Paul's Virtual Bar
    more..
  • Bruce Campbell

  • Bruce Campbell's Get Well Soon Card
  • Bruce Campbell and Tad the Banana
  • Paul Says
    L&EPaulEmail

    15 Reasons why Chocolate is Better than Sex

    • chocolate is non-judgmental
    • chocolate likes to cuddle
    • no one ever heard of "chocolate crimes"
    • if a maid left sex on your pillow, you would be sad
    • chocolate is the ultimate expression of physical intimacy
    • sex produces babies, and babies consume our world's precious zwieback reserve
    • your boyfriend never starts crying and singing the French national anthem while eating chocolate
    • chocolate isn't morally wrong
    • when chocolate strains you to its manly bosom, you can feel its throbbing masculinity underneath its rough peasant garb
    • unlike sex, chocolate never tries to pull off outdated rap slang, claiming that you are "fronting" and asking its peeps to give a shout out
    • in televised debates, chocolate always wins because sex looks all jowly on camera
    • physiologically speaking, the human orgasm uses the same muscles as being abandoned on a desert island
    • chocolate never assembles in groups of 99 for a ceremony that teaches children to hate their Christian God (oh wait, that's why chocolate is better than Smurfs)
    • Albert Schweitzer is made of fudge
    • every time you have sex, another baby kitten dies

    *

    L&EPaulEmail

  • Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 12)
  • A Smiley Story
    more..
  • Are You Nate's Girlfriend Material?
  • Fresh New World
    more..
  • Contributing Writers

  • Overrated: Ancient Egypt (Papa Redcloud)
  • Consumer Alert: Voice Recognition Software (Sister Wendy)
    more..
  • Favorites

    Polymorph Want a Cracker?Polymorph
    chefelf.comChefelf
    laurahughes.comlaurahughes.com
    Anonymous BlondeAnonymous Blonde
    Fully Ramblomatic.comFullyRamblomatic.com
    more..

    Comics

  • Lance and Eskimo Comix
  • Company X #001
  • Lance and Eskimo Think About Spiders
    more..
  • Quizzes

  • Are You Nate's Girlfriend Material?
  • Star Wars Episode III Betting Book
    more..
  • Fiction

  • Drink This
  • My Fool is a Crock
    more..
  • TV

  • Thoughts on the Role of The Lizzie McGuire Movie As It Regards to the Story Arc of the Series as a Whole
  • Laura's Inconsistently Detailed Boy Meets World Episode Guide - Season 4