• Laura's Unfortunate Powerpoint Situation
  • Laura at Sanrio Puroland
    more..
  • Jacques Applies For a Job with a Rival Website!
  • False Advertising
    more..
  • Yahtzee has a crack at ranting
  • My Fool is a Crock
    more..
  • Features

    Message BoardMessage Board
    CreditsCredits
    Buy StuffBuy Stuff
    Lance and EskimoL&E Home

    Friends

  • Angel Blue
  • The Content-Free Vegeta Girl Zone
    more..
  • Flash

  • Videotape Living Will
  • Glen Yarbrough
    more..
  • Fun

  • The Anonymous Blonde's Printable Activity Fun Pages
  • Angel Blue's Bingo Page
    more..
  • Books

  • Laura's New Favorite Book
  • The Lady or the Tiger, Revisited
  • Paul Says
    L&EPaulEmail

    15 Reasons why Chocolate is Better than Sex

    • chocolate is non-judgmental
    • chocolate likes to cuddle
    • no one ever heard of "chocolate crimes"
    • if a maid left sex on your pillow, you would be sad
    • chocolate is the ultimate expression of physical intimacy
    • sex produces babies, and babies consume our world's precious zwieback reserve
    • your boyfriend never starts crying and singing the French national anthem while eating chocolate
    • chocolate isn't morally wrong
    • when chocolate strains you to its manly bosom, you can feel its throbbing masculinity underneath its rough peasant garb
    • unlike sex, chocolate never tries to pull off outdated rap slang, claiming that you are "fronting" and asking its peeps to give a shout out
    • in televised debates, chocolate always wins because sex looks all jowly on camera
    • physiologically speaking, the human orgasm uses the same muscles as being abandoned on a desert island
    • chocolate never assembles in groups of 99 for a ceremony that teaches children to hate their Christian God (oh wait, that's why chocolate is better than Smurfs)
    • Albert Schweitzer is made of fudge
    • every time you have sex, another baby kitten dies

    *

    L&EPaulEmail

  • Company X # 023
  • Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 5)
    more..
  • Comprehension Test of Something Some Crazies Gave Me on the Street
  • Origins
    more..
  • Contributing Writers

  • Meet the Staff: Slade (Slade)
  • Asking for a Raise (J.M. Hoffman)
    more..
  • Favorites

    Polymorph Want a Cracker?Polymorph
    chefelf.comChefelf
    laurahughes.comlaurahughes.com
    Anonymous BlondeAnonymous Blonde
    Fully Ramblomatic.comFullyRamblomatic.com
    more..

    Comics

  • Lance and Eskimo Comix
  • The Adventures Of Angular Mike
  • Company X #008
    more..
  • Quizzes

  • The Borscht Period: A Hippo Phenomenology
  • The Lance and Eskimo Personality Test
    more..
  • Fiction

  • My Fool is a Crock
  • The Return Of The Don't Mention Panties Game
    more..
  • Geeky

  • The Trouble with LAN Parties
  • I Bought a Website