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Angel Force

So I was flipping by the channels the other day, using that neat feature of my parents' digital cable that allows you to watch one show and at the same time, have this little box at the bottom of the screen which tells you what's on all the other channels. So you can be like, "Hmm. I'm watching The Famous Jett Jackson right now, but it's possible--improbable, but possible--that there's something better on right now." But just in case there isn't, you don't have to miss a minute of eye-popping, famous Jett JackFUN!!!

            So anyway, I was doing this (I was actually watching Arthur at the time) and I came to this show called "Angel Force", which, you know, sounds cool. I envisioned an elite fighting force of girls called angels, with any luck a super-violent anime version of Charlie's Angels. Probably it would have more Christian symbolism and imagery than Charlie's Angels because, as we know from Evangelion, the Japanese think Christianity is neat.

            Unfortunately, when you hope an anime show is on, it never is, except if it's that one season of Sailor Moon where they're looking for the unicorn in the mirror and Sailor Moon and Sailor Chibi Moon transform together, which is the worst season, so you don't watch it anyway. What I'm trying to say is Angel Force wasn't an anime at all, or even a cheap contemporary rip-off of Charlie's Angels. In fact, it was a religious show.
            Basically it was these four or five little girls dressed in these unnervingly puffy dresses, which were identical except for being different sizes and different pastel colors. The girls were seated around a tea-table, one of those white garden party table dealies, which was place in the middle of what appeared to be some kind of bedroom or living room. They may or may not have been having some kind of tea party. Angel Force girls

            Oh, and there was music. It was exactly like someone was holding open a music box next to a speaker. It was terrible.

            The girls consisted of the Queen, who knew the most, the Plump One, who knew the second-most, and two or three disgustingly adorable younger ones, who knew nothing. One of them was wearing a hat. The Queen was saying something about how God created Everything.

            "Everything?" asked one of the innocent know-nothings.

            "Everything," said the Queen. "God created the sky and sun and the stars and the moon and the sun and mountain and the stars and the moon and the rainbows and the clovers and the horseshoes and me red balloons and even you and me!"

            "But wait," said the least adorable know-nothing, "Who created me?"

            It went on like that.

            Also, at one point, they talked about angels, and how everyone has an invisible guardian angel. Then the Queen said, "Would you like me to tell you a story?"

            "Oh, yes!" exclaimed the One in the Hat.

            So they all got up from their little tea-table, gathering together all their puffy skirts and such, which puffed and rustled so as to make the little journey quite a production, and moved about two feet to another part of the room, presumably the Story Corner, where they proceeded to reposition themselves in exactly the same formation.

            At this point, I changed the channel. Full House was just one station down and it was the one where Uncle Jessie opens a nightclub!!

            Obviously, I stayed on the religious channel just a bit too long. But that just goes to show how much impact a good title can have on your show. Even if it's the show described above, since it has an in-your-face name like Angel Force, I watched it a bit.

            But this show was really an insult to the name, you know? I think there should be a violent anime movie called Angel Force. The religious show's not too well-known, it'd be easy. Especially since the anime movie would be quite different from the actual show. The only problem would be the possibility of trying to order anime tapes and there being a mix-up and you get prerecordered episodes of the religion show.

            Anyway, here's my idea for Angel Force the Anime Movie:

Movie Poster

            Pictured above are the two central characters, members of a fighting force consisted of four to six women in skimpy angel armor. The red one on the right is named Cheruvyn or "Cherry" for short. The blue one is named Celeste and she's a really good pilot. (Get it?)

            Angel Force would be jam-packed with action, blood, babes, shower scenes, more blood, touching romance, blood, and even gentle comedy. Example:

(A monster has just ripped through a guy's guts with its talon. There are three other monsters and some other cowering people. The monsters are advancing on the people. The head monster goes after a scared-looking girl who may or may not be destined to become the next Angel. Before it can touch her, three Angels, Cheruvyn, Celeste and Selaph, jet down from the sky and alight on various high surfaces.)
CHERUVYN: Retreat now, in the name of God!
CELESTE: Yeah, get away from her, asshole!
MONSTERS: Grraauuuggaahhhgghhh!
(They raise their giant talons defiantly. Cut to Celeste's angry ice-blue eyes.)
CELESTE: You asked for it!
(Cut to inexplicable shot of a fat baby cherub type blowing a horn and there's a horn sound. Cut back to the action, where Celeste leads the three Angels in an attack on the moster. Violent battle ensues. The girls get racked up in monster scratches on their barely-armored bodies, but they do a lot of damage too with their longsword blades. They each kill a monster, but take a lot of damage, and they are lying there all covered in blood and dirt and stuff and there's this one relatively undamaged monster, and we cut to Cheruvyn's face, and she looks all sad.)
CHERUVYN: God in Heaven, hear my Prayer... Grant me strength!
(Suddenly Cheruvyn stands up, and she's kind of glowing. She holds out her sword and does a bunch of unnecessary moves with it against a random background while shouting in English.)
CHERUVYN: By God's Wrath.... SMIIIITE!
(At the end of her little ceremony she's holding the sword out in front of her, and all this light erupts from it and is sent in a big pinkish-white beam to the monster, disintegrating him.)

            So there you go. I think this idea has potential. If anyone happens to own an anime studio out there you can have my idea if you cut me some of the action. Also I have lots of other ideas if you want them. Lo-o-o-o-o-ots.

Check out Rory's response to this article!


- Laura