You see, this can be educational as
well as fun.
Dream a little dream of me.
Those of you unfamiliar with the teachings of Sigmund Freud
should be aware, before we go on, that old Freudy firmly believed
that every dream you have (EVERY single CONCEIVABLE dream of ANY
THEME WHATSOEVER) is to do with sex. Quite frankly, I wish my
dreams could be a bit more open about it and actually involve the
real thing, not constantly alluding to it with rabid dogs and
being lost in supermarkets.
So then, Mr. Freud, let's apply your logic to that dramatic
cliche of the Hollywood slasher flick, the dream sequence. Each
example will deliver subject of dream, what the dream was
supposed to mean, Freud's interpretation, and the suggested
treatment. Then we'll see just how far off Siggy would have been.
THE FILM: An American Werewolf in London
THE DREAM: The American chap who was savaged
by a werewolf (I forget his name) dreams that he is in his family
home. The TV is showing The Muppet Show. His little brother and
sister are watching. His mother prepares a meal. Someone knocks
on the door, and the father answers. A horde of men in monster
masks and Nazi outfits ransack the place, gun everyone down with
automatic rifles and cut the main bloke's throat.
WHAT THE FILM MEANT: In the run-up to his
transformation into a vicious man-eating creature of the night,
Mr. American has various unsettling nightmares which prophesy the
WHAT FREUD SAYS IT MEANS: Clearly zis Yank iz
zuffering from ze typical Oedipal complex, ja? Ze family home
represents ze dreamer'z mother, and ze horde of murderouz
monsterz represent hiz zubconsciouz urgez to invade or
'penetrate' hiz mother. Ze children and ze Muppet Show represent
the innocence of youth, vich as you vill notice, die as ze
penetration takez place. Ze effentual death of ze dreamer
representz ze orgasm, ze final nihilism, az alvays.
SUGGESTED TREATMENT: Take up a new hobby. Go
out and meet new people.
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED: Pretty much the
THE FILM: Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael
THE DREAM: The little girl who goes mad at
the end is in her bedroom. Lightning flashes outside. She sees
her uncle, the mad psycho serial killer Mikey Myers, in the
mirror behind her, wearing his usual blank-faced mask.
WHAT THE FILM MEANT: This girl has a sort of
telepathic link with her unbalanced relative. The dream
prophesied his return, as advertised in the title, which was
coming up pretty soon.
WHAT FREUD SAYS IT MEANS: Ze little fraulein
iz clearly dreaming ze usual zuppressed rape fantazy. She
subconsciously vishes zat zome anonymouz man (hiz anonymity
portrayed by ze blank-faced mask) vould invade (penetrate) ze
private inner sanctum of her bedroom, vich obviously represents
her uterus, vich vill alvays remain her 'private' 'inner
SUGGESTED TREATMENT: She is obviously too
repressed and exposed to unhappiness, and probable violence, in
the home. A change of scenery would do her good.
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED: Mikey Myers turned up
and started slashing people left, right and centre. Eventually he
gets shot and thrown down a mine shaft. Then the girl goes all
possessed on us and kills someone. Pff, kids.
THE FILM: A Nightmare On Elm Street (I love
THE DREAM: Teenage girl is stalked in her
dreams by a heavily burned man wearing a hat, sweater and claws
on one hand. She is pulled into his grasp and slaughtered with
said claws. Subject died in real life, apparently savaged by a
set of claws.
WHAT THE FILM MEANT: Freddy Kreuger, dream
spirit, hunted her down and killed her from within her dream, to
exact revenge on the people who murdered him.
WHAT FREUD SAID IT MEANS: Obfiously zis iz a
tricky von. I vould guess zat it'z another subconsciouz rape
fantazy. Ze man obviouzly representz the girl'z father. Ze
stalking representz ze control he exacted over her. Ze sweater
and hat vere probably remnantz of ze memory she haz of him. Ze
knives are ze grasping hand vich clung her back from escaping hiz
influence. Ze horrible burns are probably zome unconscious desire
to hurt ze patriarch. Ze fact zat she actually did die in real
life iz ze business of ze coroner, not me.
SUGGESTED TREATMENT: The subject should be
autopsied, embalmed and kept in a wooden box underground for an
indefinite amount of time.
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED: The girl's soul
became the property of Freddy Kreuger and was used to torment her
friend, who was also a target of the K-man.
He was very over-rated, Sigmund Freud. That's why he changed
his name to Emma and became full-time rhyming slang.
This little slice o'heaven brought to you by Ben