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Zelda Title Screen
Legend of Zelda
If you've played the Legend of Zelda then you're familiar with the aspects of the game. If you haven't then shame on you. Get an old Nintendo and buy the Legend of Zelda. Or if you already own it and want to download a backup copy ;-) go to and download an emulator (I suggest either Nesten or Nesticle) and then download the Legend of Zelda Rom. Either way, enjoy my analysis of the game.


Armos is a soldier that has been turned into a statue. He comes alive when Link touches him and starts running around and bumping into everything like a a big dummy. He's kinda like that manequin from that show "Today's Special" that used to be on Nickelodeon. I bet Link probably tells people he meets that "there are these statues that come alive after I touch them... and only I can see them!" No one believes him.

This ghost is actually a hive mind for all the other undisturbed souls of the graveyard. When he dies they all die. One of the more heroic activitis that Link participates in is stirring up a big ruckus in the graveyard and disturbing these spirits. As they all pour out of their graves Link kills the hive mind and they all die. That's our hero.

Leevers are annoying. Link can seldom predict when they're going to jump out of the ground right in front of him. They cause Link just a little bit of damage, but enough so that he won't be shooting his sword for a while. Leevers are notorious for not giving Link hearts.
Dancing on the ceiling

Lynels sound like people. They are supposedly the "Guardians of Death Mountain," but I don't see them doing much guarding. Their random movements don't appear to me to of great guarding potential. Link is shocked that they are shooting him with what looks like the same sword he is using. The shock quickly subsides as Link kills the last two or three Lynels in Hyrule. Now they're extinct thanks to Link.

Moblins are wandering around the forest throwing spears--that look rather suspiciously like arrows--at Link. They have an annoying habit of just popping out from behind trees and stabbing Link in the back with an arrow. Perhaps they're upset because Link has burned down most of their forest. What's their deal?
Better than Cop Rock

Octo, octo, octo... I know this one. Oh, it means eight. So according to the people that named this creature, its eight legs are among its most predominant features. It's not the huge rock-propelling snout or giant 1/2 body length eyeballs. Fair enough.

Peahats are the bane of Link's existence. Nothing annoys him more. What could be more annoying than a flying enemy that can inflict damage upon Link but that he can't kill until they stop moving? Link seldom has the patience to kill any peahats. Link lurks through the underworld hoping to find some kind of weapon that he can swing up high enough to kill the peahats in motion like a halberd or something. Then he remembers that he isn't playing Dungeons & Dragons.
...and Roll

Rocks. Some Enemy. Every time you approach Death Mountain Mother Nature is constantly pelting you with these. Although they make Link unhappy and cause damage and distain, I would hardly call them an "enemy." They don't seem to be magical (although it's hard to tell in the land of Hyrule) they just fall kind of randomnly across the screen. I think the most disturbing thing about rocks is how shiny they are. I think there's somone up at the top of the moutain polishing them before kicking them down into Link's path.
The Amazing Tektike Man

Tektikes are huge spiders. They hippity-hop down the spider trail landing on rocks or wherever else Link can't kill them on. They're fast. Link usually kills them when they're up far on a mountain so that their booty is far out of reach. It's usually at such an angle that Link has to try three or four shots with the boomerang to get it and it vanishes just before his final perfectly targetted shot. They make Link curse at lost rupies and miniature Valentines.

Zola is awfully grumpy. I wonder what foul happenings at the bottom of the lake caused him to turn out the way he did. What's he so angry about? Link can't approach water without getting bombarded constantly by Zola for no reason. He's a sour puss. Link can shoot him and seemingly kill him as many times as he pleases. Zola will be back. He always is.

Coming next... The Creatures of the Underworld -- An in-depth study of the pains in the ass that lurked the underworld of Hyrule.
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