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    Jake: An Introduction

    by Jake

    "Distant Memories, are buried in the past, forever" -Scorpions

    I'm sure it would look good to say that I thought of that quote while sitting and contemplating things greater than myself, it isn't true ... the song happens to be playing as I write.

    In what will hopefully be the first of many articles for L&E I wanted to choose something with a little bit of humor but plenty of depth. The backbone, as I see it, of great writing. A piece of writing must live, breath, and speak for the writer when the writer himself is not present to orate and act out the emotion intended.

    Although I had intended to send along to the Grand High Council of L&E something off the wall to gain my induction into this awesome world I figured something "honest" would be a better way to make friends ... there is plenty of time for "shock and awe" later.

    Before I become what I am today which is a twenty-one year old, community college guru (which is bullshit artist for "I'm taking too long to graduate a two year school"), who hates social situations. I was young, outgoing, ambitious, and sometimes devious (a corporate CEO in the making).

    Many people say they buck the system. I have actually done it. In my first grade year not once, not twice, but several times I went to school dressed as Mario ... the early nineties Nintendo icon that still haunts us today. Although he seems to have settled down with the princess as of late as I just don't hear the same fervor associated with his name as I did back in my day as a youth. Of course, Mario doesn't hold a candle to the gratuitous violence of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City so I can see how the kids of today "just don't get it".

    Not that there is anything wrong with gratuitous violence but is it appropriate for first graders ... oh well that is another article.

    Back to my story ... now, you may not be impressed with this feat of individuality, some of you may have even matched it or topped it (like putting the word "Meats" on your forehead comes to mind). However, in my school this style belonged to me I "owned" as a hacker would say.

    I chose this one memory out of the millions from my childhood not only because I thought my secret would be safe with all of you ... but I wanted to provide some background into who I am a "window" to my soul if you will ... just in case things get a little crazy once I am exposed to the mass audience that you now command.

    In summary, while you will not be roaring with laughter over this missive that was not the intent ... I've never put up an article to be judged by others (I'm not even sure this is "article form" but I am willing to throw myself to the wolves this once). It's hard to be funny when the pressures on so I didn't want to try and ruin everyone's weekend.

    However, in the spirit of openness and perhaps some warning of what could be to come if I have a career with L&E I know present the six most recent thoughts to flow through my brain.

    1. I need to get a job
    2. I want money
    3. I'm hungry
    4. I should seriously get drunk on the beach again.
    5. No I shouldn't. After all, none of your friends are around. Secondly, its daytime and screaming for fellatio during the day while drunk will probably get you arrested.
    6. Oh... yeah.

    ~Jake

    *

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