Nate Paul Laura Jacques Yahtzee
"LNE is a multidiscipline metrology. " Friday, August 18, 2017

The Future of Lance & Eskimo

From the Redcloud Collective

To: Our Readers
From: The Redcloud Collective
Date: January 22, 2004

Lance & Eskimo Dot Com--your daily dairy dose of dairy newsfeed daily served daily fresh every daily bread, deliver us from evil, etc.--has officially moved to a slightly less diary, dairy, Daltry schedule. Effective January 1st we have moved to a slightly rigid 3-day a week update schedule.

In our own wishy-washy way we are going to stick to this new format as much as possible. We will be updating Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Monday, as usualy, will be usually taken by Chefelf. Laura will be handling Wednesdays along with Papa Redcloud and Fridays will be taken up with other articles, such as Yahtzee's travel journals that he's been sending me from Australia.

Also, we are not going to be posting any more guest articles. Due to our busy lifestyles outside of Lance & Eskimo we are just unable to continue posting these articles. We would like to thank all the contributers for all of their great contributions over the past three years. Because of our undying laziness our site will only be updated by people with FTP access to it. Yahtzee's articles are the only submissions we will accept but only because of a promise I made to him on the Battlefield during the War of This Glorious City in which he saved my life and because he is my brother.

So what are the Redclouds doing that is keeping them so busy?

Laura has her own website to worry about as well as the quilts she knits for soldiers overseas. "Freedom isn't free, you know," she constantly reminds us. You know what? She's right.

Paul divides his time between working on his multiple programming projects, working in his secret submarine base and finding new and finding interesting and new ways to be utterly unreachable using any form of communication.

Chefelf spends his mornings, afternoons and most of his evenings avoiding human contact and trying desperately to figure out a way that he can be paid to play video games. In frustration with not being able to figure out a way to do this he spends his mornings, afternoons and most of his evenings just playing them for free.

Jacques has not been seen since Slightly after Halloween of 2002. He occassionally calls one of the Brothers Redcloud and makes charming conversation. Otherwise his time is taken up by a number of top secret projects that he makes vague references to but usually just pretends do not exist. These include, but are not limited to: designing video game strategy guides, writing books about Aerosmith, and talking about his first grade teacher that was old when he was in first grade but then he saw her recently and she is in her nineties and still teaching.

Yahtzee has abandoned his website and the internet in general to follow his true passion, exploring the Australian outback. He emails Chefelf once a month from an internet cafe to send him his latest travel journal and to give him a basic update of what's going on. From what I am telling he's using Australia as a launching pad for his ultimate goal: being really cynical on all seven continents.

On behalf of the Brothers Recloud, I would like to extend my thanks for more than three years of continued readership. Let's hope that God, or Kat's principal, does not strike us down so that we can enjoy many more.

Sincerely,

Chefelf

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