• Advice for TV Episode Summary Copy Writers
  • Laura Recaps: Orfeo ed Euridice
    more..
  • Jacques Applies For a Job with a Rival Website!
  • The Day I Met Bruce Campbell - Part One
    more..
  • Are You a Serial Killer?
  • Richard and Maureen's Amazing Time Travel Adventure
    more..
  • Features

    Message BoardMessage Board
    CreditsCredits
    Buy StuffBuy Stuff
    Lance and EskimoL&E Home

    Friends

  • The Lewgosset Musk World Domination Page
  • The Content-Free Vegeta Girl Zone
    more..
  • Flash

  • The Laudry Demons
  • Bilbo the Talking Gondar
    more..
  • Fun

  • Parlor Games for the Next Millennium
  • The Rabid Pro-Lizzie McGuire Hate Mail Creator
    more..
  • Blogs

  • Chefelf.com
  • The Anonymous Blonde
  • Paul Says
    L&EPaulEmail

    Comprehension Test of Something Some Crazies Gave Me on the Street

    1       What could be happening right now if there was time travel on this planet? Could you manipulate the stock market? Escape detection for a major crime? Learn new science that allows other forms of transportation? Develop a new breed of animal or bacteria? Could they discover new techniques of quantum electrodynamics? What if a new form of brainwashing or mesmerization were possible? Would you know where to turn if you were the first person honest enough to report it?

    2       M. was born in June 1973 at St. Joseph's Hospital. That first day she was penetrated with a fist and a metal ring was left to gird her uterus, preventing any dilation of the cervix necessary for birth. She lost all of her children the day she was born. Eight years later mercury fillings were inserted into her lower bicuspids and an amazing amount of body electroconductivity and a tolerance for electroconductive wavesplit at the physical level. Electrical voltage at higher than normal levels could pass through her human body. This was largely due to the influences of astrology on the rare day she was born. Other astrology charts can occasionally bear this type of electrical ability, but M.'s chart was an extreme electrical case. Otherwise normal, large amounts of electricity could pass through her body without death, except by long, slow cancer.

    3       With the forced help of other "ring girls" who were connected to M.'s astrology chart and then spaced evenly across the planet, the whole sphere of earth could be turned and moved. This made the sun appear to rise and set at unusual angles. Some even said the whole planet could be moved miles away from its normal spot, changing the distance from the sun to the planet. The planet Jupiter, which had a conical section of holes in it, was stressed by physics and broken into two pieces. Then it was forced into the sun by complicated math and physics by N.A.S.A. This means that the sun, which was now newly-fueled and hotter, would offer sunlight for many more years, but in the early years of this feat, some or all of the ice caps are expected to melt.

    4       Because the experimenting with planet motion and time were poorly managed by the government, one day all knowledgeable, but expendable human beings were eliminated secretly. The original ring girl, M., could not be sacrifices in case the planet began to drown because too much water melted. She would be the only irreplaceable astrological chart on the planet because it was her chart that provided the ability to move the planet further back from the sun in order to survive. Only her natural chart with the body that had supported it for years was capable of supporting such science, and possibly only while certain electrically charged planets were orbiting the nearby skies. No other person wearing the chart, but not hooked up to the original, could perform such tasks. Without her electroconductive status, little or no ability would remain to safely escape the damaging rays of a new, hotter sun.

    5       M. knew that this astrophysics program run well could save the planet and its dying sun. But it was not run well. One day only M. and some dangerouns government scientists/beaurocrats still knew what had been done. Whether or not the planet will drown depends upon her survival, but the experiments with time continued unashamedly, slowly killing her. Only extreme wavesplit prevents travel through time, but geo-orbiting satellites for radio and television can stream electricity from the sky into a human being to override natural wavesplit. Unfortunately, greed always wins out over prudence, human sanity, and sound science.

    6       M.'s life is now in danger. She should never be killed because all human life depends upon her astrologically-charted body and the new science. But the government wants her locked up forever. They nearly succeeded in imprisoning her in another state, although she was a college woman whose only brush with the law was disturbing the peace. Please copy this and let people know what their government has already done.

    7       Only telephone operators know how silenced we have become. And some savers are by default, because only they know. Error The quiz you are trying to access does not exist. Please check the URL and try again.

    *

    L&EPaulEmail

  • Star Wars :Jedi Knight 3: Jedi Academy
  • Skyscraper
    more..
  • The 2001 Beer Commercial Report
  • Planned Eat-Selescence
    more..
  • Contributing Writers

  • Videotape Living Will (Lefty)
  • My Fool is a Crock (Rory)
    more..
  • Favorites

    Polymorph Want a Cracker?Polymorph
    chefelf.comChefelf
    laurahughes.comlaurahughes.com
    Anonymous BlondeAnonymous Blonde
    Fully Ramblomatic.comFullyRamblomatic.com
    more..

    Comics

  • Lance and Eskimo Comix
  • Company X #013
  • The Adventures of Rex Blunder, pt. 3
    more..
  • Quizzes

  • Comprehension Test of Something Some Crazies Gave Me on the Street
  • Name That Beauty Salon! (Part 2)
    more..
  • Fiction

  • The Passions of Greedo
  • The Azores Mystery
    more..
  • TV

  • Laura Reviews Braceface
  • Ghostwriter Remembered