Fiction LNE
Fiction Friday

A caped guy receded across the sky. He was the greatest superhero in the city, but he had many weaknesses. Such as his weakness for leggy blondes, his weak personality, and his fear of commitment. For he was

P I S M O   T E N D E R L O I N S

Guy of Destiny

"Who are you?" demanded the Mayor. He adjusted the Key to the City which he carried.

"Remember me? I'm Pismo Tenderloins." Pismo stared at the mayor. "You hired me to be your crimefighter."

The Mayor clapped a hand to his head. "O yes, I forgot. Well, we're on top of this tall building now, so why don't you use your super vision to spot some crime."

"Certainly." Pismo took out his super-binoculars and looked around. "Hey, there's some corporate crime going on in that building over there!" he squealed, and ran to the elevator.

"Goddamn," breathed the mayor. "He sure is dynamic."

Pismo Tenderloin broke into the big building. He looked around. "Suits." He nodded to himself and took out a briefcase and blended in with some suits who were getting in an elevator.

"So you want to be a data coder, Mr..." said the office guy.

"Tenderloins. Uuh, Rodney Tenderloins." Pismo pulled at his collar and sweated profusely as he uttered the lie.

"Very well. Why don't you go over to that computer and type in this sequence of ones and zeros. If you do it all without a mistake, you're hired!"

"Great!" enthused the excited caped crusader. "What's my starting pay?"

"Oh, it's average for data coders... I can't divulge the atcual amount, but it's very, very high."

"Good." The modern-day knight-errant went to the computer.

The mayor reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a water pipe. He puffed contentedly on the tobacco-filled pipe. "This is the life," he sighed.

Suddenly the door opened and Pismo came in, struggling under a pile of computer printouts. "I stole some data from the bad guys," he said. "Look." He put a piece of paper on the mayor's desk.

The mayor looked confused. "Oh, I forgot," said Pismo indulgently, "your non-super brain can't instantly comprehend computer language. It says,"

30 IF (DATA) = 2066 GOTO 40
50 RUN
60 END

"Great job." the mayor tugged the Key to the City from his belt. "You'd better take this now, you've saved the city."

"Thanks!" said Pismo Tenderloins. "But it's all in a day's work for a truly splendid superhero."

"Well, Mr. Superhero, you'd better examine your zipper."

"Oh." Pismo zipped up as they both laughed.

70 END

Next week:

Pismo Tenderloins Vs.
The Matinee Brothers