here's what i'm working on:

The Anonymous Blonde's Sex Dreams Revealed! and analyzed.: They're not really sex dreams. But they're mostly about celebrities!

The Anonymous Blonde's Answers to Jenny Marx's Survey: What does this Jenny Marx want from us, anyway?

The Anonymous Blonde's Half-Completed Photo Album: Look! It's a photo album half-full of pictures of the Anonymous Blonde's wacky life! Don't worry, there's more to come!

A Postcard for You!: The Anonymous Blonde is on vacation in California. But she was nice enough to send us all a postcard. What a wonderful time she must be having! It's so nice of her to think of us.

A Girl's Guide to Buying a Rat: The Anonymous Blonde's ex-husband convinced her to write this how-to feature on rat-buying for a glossy women's magazine. After all that research, she'll never buy the wrong rat again!

Which Wife of Henry VIII Are YOU?: The second in a series of tests revealing the member of a set of ladies who are of no interest to anyone but some serious nerds to whom you bear more than the most passing resemblance. (Come on, you can parse that!)

A Story About Babies: The Anonymous Blonde was supposed to play poker with her friend, the Ignominious Redhead. The trouble was, the IR's new baby, Oisin Vertumnus, was making a lot of racket. The AB told him a tale in dulcet tones and he went to sleep. That tale is reprinted herein.

Can You Take Me to the Prom?: The Anonymous Blonde doesn't have any proms to go to right now, but if something comes up, she'll sure be happy to have this handy screening method for prospective dates!

My Fool is a Crock: Apparently everyone's fool is a crock.

Anonymousblonde.com!!!: The Anonymous Blonde woke up one morning to find her room in disorder, blood on her lips and fingers, a crescent moon tattooed in woad upon her brow, dog droppings in her slippers, and this on her desktop.

Which Suicidal Poetess Are You?: Well, didn't you always want to know?

The Anonymous Blonde's First Erotic Science Fiction: Some terrible publishing house wants to make the Anonymous Blonde write an erotic sci-fi serial for them. She's doing it, because she needs the money. But that doesn't mean she's going to do a good job.

Elephants On Parade: The Anonymous Blonde will render anything unto Caesar that Caesar wants, because Caesar didn't get to look at some damn fine elephants.

The Anonymous Blonde's Ancestress' Oregon Trail Journal!: Blood tells, sort of.

The Anonymous Blonde's Printable Activity Fun Pages: Continuing her tradition of continuing the tradition of 50-year-old people putting stuff on the internet that doesn't belong there, the Anonymous Blonde brings you hot, printable pictures of her own luscious wardrobe--plus a luscious, limited-edition AB paper doll!

Parlor Games for the Next Millennium: Have you ever really wanted to act out a play over IM, but you just didn't have an internet-friendly script to use? Once again, the Anonymous Blonde pulls you out of your rut of stupidity by the forelock and gives you the solution.

What Does 2003 Hold for You?: The Anonymous Blonde lets go of her resolutions -- and her illusions -- just so she can bring you a little New Year's clairvoyance.

The Anonymous Blonde's Christmas List: Think of all the fun I've missed! Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed. Next year I could be oh so good if / you'll check off my Christmas list.

Your Love Horoscope for 12/02: This is the kind of love horoscope that asks you personality-test questions and then tells you your personality. So I guess it's a love personality test.

Killing a Boy: Are you so sure you know how? Take this quiz and find out.

The Borscht Period: A Hippo Phenomenology: How much do you know about hippos?

Who Does Paul Love?: An anthropological study of the enigmatic brother Redcloud that answers the question, does Paul love you?