Written by Papa Redcloud
The dramatic conclusion! Theology Girl is so messianic and unrufflable. But I like her acolyte’s whiny exuberance.
Next time: your basic Lance and your basic Eskimo.
ACOLYTE (resignedly): It’s fate!
THEOLOGY GIRL: If you want it that way.
ACOLYTE: You mean my fate is up to me?
THEOLOGY GIRL: Well, you are in the hands of God.
(The Acolyte is in despair.)
ACOLYTE: What’s the use of doing anything if my decisions don’t count?
THEOLOGY GIRL: They count.
ACOLYTE: Towards what, if it’s all going to end up the same anyway?
THEOLOGY GIRL: Actually, it is not important whether you are ruled by fate or by your own decisions. It’s how you feel about it.
ACOLYTE: I feel terrible.
THEOLOGY GIRL (In her best cheer-you-up tone): Do you want to play ScrabbleTM?
ACOLYTE: Why would I want to play ScrabbleTM? You always win!
THEOLOGY GIRL: That is because I make more bingos.
ACOLYTE: Now that is what I don’t understand. How come you get all the good tiles?
THEOLOGY GIRL: But do I? Perhaps I make more seven-letter words because I am looking for them.
ACOLYTE: I still think it’s fixed.
THEOLOGY GIRL: Besides, do I really always win?
ACOLYTE: Almost always.
THEOLOGY GIRL: So my winning is not preordained, just probable. By the way, do you usually have fun when we play ScrabbleTM?
ACOLYTE: I’m gonna beat you next time!
(Theology Girl smiles.)