The official Internet home of lovable scamps.

November 4, 2007


Lance and Eskimo
Eskimo Eskimo Jones Eskimo’s young life has held an almost ludicrous number of adventures, including, but not limited to, her stint as a pirate captain and a lion tamer (which earned her a charming set of disfiguring facial scars). She dresses like an antiquated gentleman and acts without thinking.
Lance Lance Redcloud Lance fulfilled the worst daydreams of his teachers at the Anachronistic School for Boys: immediately after leaving campus he signed on with a pirate crew. His disastrous love affair was instrumental in disbanding the crew, but he continues to follow his captain.
Love Interests
Carole Carole Pickering A Linguistics Ph.D. student who once taught Lance to be a proper gentleman as part of an elaborate bet. She did the impossible and managed to cross storyline boundaries in order to continue dating Lance.
Caryn Caryn Cararas The sister of Lance and Eskimo’s landlord, a former CPA with glam-rock aspirations. Eskimo adores her.
Jeria Jeria Cararas An actress known (to Lance) for her titular role in the action blockbuster “Theology Girl.” Lance and Eskimo currently live in her basement. It is unclear whether or not they are supposed to be paying rent, but I don’t think that they possibly can be doing so.
Robbie Robbie Cararas Jeria’s daughter. Lance and Eskimo frequently babysit her. Well, Lance frequently babysits her. Like all good captains, Eskimo is weirded out by children.
Rory Rory Rents the tiny attic apartment that Lance and Eskimo couldn’t afford. An authority on Pokemon, and one of the world’s tactical geniuses.
Mandrake & Co.
Mandrake An impossibly wealthy, four-foot-tall bipedal raccoon. Refined, amused.
Krys Krys Katona Mandrake’s bodyguard. Formerly the hired muscle on Eskimo’s pirate crew. Sarcastic, insecure.
Phil Philharmonic Mandrake’s secretary. Sweet, cheery.
Characters from Previous Storylines
Chefelf A chef. An elf. A legend. The kind of guy who knows how to get things, if by “things” you mean “bootleg DVDs.”Fate: Moved to New York to start a catering company with fellow ex-pirate chefs, and to meet his Internet sweetheart, the Riddler.
Higgins Professor Henry Higgins Once taught Eskimo to be a proper lady as part of an elaborate bet with Carole Pickering, his graduate student.Fate: Still lives in a swank set of rooms in Wimpole St., This Glorious City, and teaches the science of speech to undergrads he despises.
Jeanne Darkskies Eskimo’s sworn rival. Well, Eskimo swore it, anyway.Fate: Disappeared into the dark underbelly of the lakeside vacation area.
Margaret “Leggy Peggy” Rastinan Jeanne’s first mate. Does not have a pegleg.Fate: After conquering Lance’s virginity and subsequently sustaining a non-fatal shooting injury, Peggy refused to see her rescuers, who left her in the capable hands of the annoying hospital staff.
Rook Rastinan Peggy’s (ex?) husband. Rumored to be dead. Bears striking resemblance to Lance.Fate: Still wanders the earth to this day in search of his ladylove.

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Lance and Eskimo, written & drawn by Laura Hughes. Webcomic 2007-present; stories & characters developed 1998-present. Come for the surreal parody, lovable scamps, and persistent homoeroticism, stay for the passing flashes of quality!

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