Because Lance is a poet, remember? Continuity!
As with the Chef Song, this is an expansion of material found originally in my 9th grade sketchbook comic. (And, like the Chef Song, it’s one of the main reasons I wanted to redo this comic–I love it!) The first stanza is direct from the original; the remaining stanzas were composed in order to give the sonnet the correct number of lines. Secretly, this isn’t any actual sonnet form that I know–the rhyme scheme is sort of a combination of Shakespearean and Petrarchan forms. This is because I forgot how to do a Petrarchan sonnet and by the time I looked it up, I had already written it wrong. But I liked it, so I kept it.
I like how Peggy’s just like, “…Whubuh.”
LANCE: My love is like a red, red, red, red rose
That’s only sipped from tears of mountain dew.
That’s why a sim’lar rose I give to you
In hopes that you might smell it with your nose.
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thy sun-bright eye’s sweet sight igniteth me,
But I think moonlight best becometh thee.
Thou art a rare and jeweled star, okay?
So curl your coral lips into a smirk,
Laugh daggers through my heart, and still I’ll crave
You use those lips to bid me be a slave.
I promise I am nice, and not a jerk.
So crown me or condemn me with a word–
Am I to be embraced? or flipped the bird?