"Since you have discovered my secret identity," says Scooperman, beaming, "there's only one thing to do. Make you my sidekick!" You reluctantly agree to become Marascino Cherry Girl, but eventually the giggling and innuendo becomes too much for you and you retire. Scooperman decides to find Paul for you as a retirement gift. "Give me a picture of him so I can find him," Scooperman says.

"Uh," you say, "actually I don't have a picture."

"You don't? Then he must be a vampire, since they leave no image on film."

"You don't? Then he must be one of those native peoples who believe that cameras steal your souls."