Friends Episode Guide--Season 5

Here's an (obviously incomplete) episode guide for the fifth season of Friends, complete with episode name and number, a synopsis, Dune Guy ratings, and Dune Guy quotes from each one. Bon Appetit!

Dune Guy Rating: 2 1/2587: The Unisex Bag

Phoebe's grandmother dies, and she sees her father at the memorial service. Chandler and Monica are STILL in a RELATIONSHIP!!! Joey affects a purse in the belief that it will help him land an acting role. "Alright, then massage me up right nice!" "Goodbye muscles!!"

Dune Guy Rating: 3 1/2588: "I'm Joey. I'm disgusting."

Joey is sick of having to hide Monica and Chandler's relationship. Somehow, he always ends up looking like a sicko. Rachel and Phoebe join a book club in which Rachel compares Jane Eyre to Robocop. Ross waxes petulant when someone at work steals his sandwich. His rage gets him fired. "So Ross, when you picture Phoebe on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?"

Dune Guy Rating: 4589: In Flagrante Delicto

Ugly Naked Guy moves out, and Ross wants his apartment. While he, Phoebe and Rachel are checking out the apartment, Phoebe sees Chandler and Mon… doin' it. Phoebe handles this in the most mature way possible-by flirting with Chandler. This leads to a game of sexual chicken (if the phrase "sexual chicken" is pardonable in this, or any, situation). "Well my grandfather was Swedish, and my grandmother was actually a tiny little bunny." "Your work makes me sad." "Did you see that with the inappropriate and the pinching!" "Ah yes. The messers…become the MESSEES!"

Dune Guy Rating: 3590: Chandler Proposes

Ross, having seen Chandler and Monica doin' it from Ugly Naked Guy's apartment, rushes over with fire in his eyes, prepared to wreak mayhem. But he melts when he realizes his best friend and his sister are in love. The attention from the friends begins to give Chandler Commitment Phobia. His obvious commitment freakout annoys Monica, and Chandler tries to make it better by… well, read the name of the episode. Ross, returning to his apartment, loses no time in antagonizing his new neighbors. Meanwhile, Joey is dating a cute little thing (Soleil Moon Frye [sp], TV's Punky Brewster) whose playful punches really hurt! He may have to break up with her just to protect himself! "Oh, I'm going on the lam." "You have baby fever!"

Dune Guy Rating: 1 1/2591: Ross Almost Grows Up

Emily is trying to separate Ross from the group. Garcon, can I get five cups of chagrin? The gang tries to convince him to make his own decisions. When he finally stands up to Emily, she breaks up with him. Meanwhile, Rachel and Monica accidentally spray bug balm on a hairy neighbor. When he shaves, he turns out to be cute. And Phoebe has a moral dilemma about a great mink coat. "We're losing Ross… Joey said 'hence'…"

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