Anonymous Blonde

The Anonymous Blonde's Parlor Games for the Next Millenium

Play # 1, Actor B

(keeps his eyes on his magazine) You donít say.

Oh, extraordinarily so.

I was, #n. I was just thrilled.

Go ahead.

Yes, very.

Itís about swimming.

No. Itís what to take with you when you go swimming.


Yes, itís Maxim.

Not much.

Well, just because you havenít seen me do it, donít mean I havenít done it, huh?

Yes, with David.



Oh, I was admiring you.

For using swum, I do. (pause) You were always a good one for your principal parts.

Who knows. (pause) I thought you were going to get another cup.

The beach. David.

You were talking about David, actually. You and David, swimming, having a wonderful time.

With David.

I guess.

I thought we werenít going to talk about David.

We werenít going to talk about any of it.

It hasnít been that long of a time.

You were going to get another cup.

Iím fine.

Youíd better go and get it.


Well, if you want it, you shouldnít worry. Have it.

The coffee. Have the coffee.


Iím having a wonderful time.

No, really, Iím not. This is very cozy. I like this place, I like this article, I have a good cuppa joe, I have a comfortable chair, thereís a pretty girl sitting across the table from me, Iím very happy.




I told you.

Not in a place like this. Maybe at a soda fountain.

You know, if you want another cup, you should have one.

My treat, okay?

(pause) It doesnít matter.

%n. Just remember it doesnít matter.

It doesnít. Donít think about it.

We decided. We talked about it all night, donít worry about it anymore. We already decided. You donít have to think about it.

You donít have to.

Have to what?


You know you canít. You know we canít.

You know we talked about this.


I canít see how any good could come out of any of this shit, %n.

I donít. I donít see anything noble in any of it. I donít see anything noble in how he -- fuck, that wasnít fucking noble, that was full of shit, and. I donít see anything fucking noble about us.


Donít cry.

People are starting to look at us, %n, donít cry, come here.

Itís okay. Itís okay. (pause) Itís gonna be okay.

Itíll be -- itíll be okay. (long pause) Itís just, you know we canít, right? You know -- even outside of all this shit, all this shit about-- about David, all that shit, even outside that, you know we donít have the money.

This just isnít the time -- itís not the time for this kind of thing. You know that.

Iíll get you another cup.

Iíll get you another cup. You know, I donít even know if pteradon is a word, exactly.

Sure we are. Sure we are.

Must have been.

Yeah. (long pause. He takes a step back.) I have to go. I have -- a meeting.

You want me to walk you home?