March 1, 1848
We started down the trail with:
- 10 oxen
- 10 sets of clothing
- 200 bullets
- 2 wagon wheels
- 2 wagon axles
- 2 wagon tongues
- 100 pounds of food
- Cascade Badge
- Rainbow Badge
- PokéDex
- Hello. I am Johnny Clement. I'm going to be a great Pokémon trainer. So far, my only Pokémon are Nadine the Cat, a Cat Pokémon, a cousin to the Meowth breed, and Bear Arms, a Brute Pokémon. I hope to catch many more. I am travelling with Achia-Klauss, the Labor Day Racer, and Cher Kahn, who is related to me in that she used to go to school with my cousin's best friend's uncle's wife's half-sister's daughter. Small world, huh?
March 5, 1848
We have arrived at the Kansas River Crossing. So far I've seen a Caterpie, but it eluded me with its wily schemes. I also saw a Venomoth. Forget that. Cher says she sees a couple of Goldeen in the water, but she's lying to make me go diving when she KNOWS I left my scuba gear at Independence Gym.
The river is too deep to ford. We lost:
10 oxen
6 sets of clothing
193 bullets
1 wagon wheel
1 wagon axle
2 wagon tongues
17 pounds of food
Bear Arms (drowned)
Cher Kahn (drowned)
Achia-Klauss (drowned)
Good, served them all right by Bear Arms. Just me and Nadine the Cat now. I press onward breavelylly.
We traded 3 sets of clothing for 1 ox. We saw Kel Frizzihair's Amazing Grave. Wish I'd lent him shampoo when I'd had the chance, it said. How PROFFFOOUNND>>>>
March 7, 1848
A blizzard delayed us 1 day.
March 9, 1848
A blizzard delayed us 1 day.
March 12, 1848
We shot 376 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. MMMMMM... Pokémeat
An Indian helped us find some food.
We lost 23 pounds of food due to spoilage.
March 13, 1848
An ox is sick. Damn that Pokémon! It was my last Oxymon.
We traded 148 pounds of food for 1 ox. Now I have Two Oxymon, but one's Sick.
March 14, 1848
We lost 4 pounds of food due to spoilage.
March 16, 1848
We shot 317 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. Buffalyx sure are MEATY.
We took the wrong trail and lost 4 days. I saw a Pidgie, but Nadine the Cat scared it off.
March 24, 1848
We traded 155 pounds of food for 1 ox.
March 25, 1848
We didn't have any luck on this hunting trip! We returned to the wagon empty-handed.
We traded 10 pounds of food for 20 bullets.
We traded 9 pounds of food for 10 bullets.
March 26, 1848
We shot 363 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. Buffalyx 4EVA.
March 27, 1848
A blizzard delayed us 1 day.
We traded 115 pounds of food for 1 ox.
March 30, 1848
We shot 149 pounds of meat.
We traded 158 pounds of food for 1 ox.
Nadine the Cat is sick with typhoid fever.
March 31, 1848
We decided to rest for 4 days. She's my only Pokémon, I'm no where near a Pokécenter, and without her I have no hope of catching any others.
April 3, 1848
We shot 150 pounds of meat.
We traded 119 pounds of food for 1 ox.
We lost 5 pounds of food due to spoilage.
April 4, 1848
Nadine the Cat died of measles. Now I'll never catch any Pokémon. Phooey.
I lost 5 pounds of food due to spoilage.
April 8, 1848
I didn't have any luck on this hunting trip! I returned to the wagon empty-handed. However, I formed a lovely heart shape with bullets on a distant tree trunk.
I have arrived at the Big Blue River Crossing.
My supplies got wet. Lost 1 day.
April 9, 1848
I am sick with typhoid fever.
April 10, 1848
An ox is sick.
I decided to rest for 3 days. Without me, I'll never catch any more Pokémon.
April 14, 1848
I shot 496 pounds of meat but was able to carry back only 100 pounds of meat by myself.
I'm sick, my ox is sick, and worst of all, my Pokédex just said I was a dimwitted half-assed Pokétrainer Wannabe.
April 18, 1848
I am well again. I saw Uncle Froggy's grave. A fitting end to the great Frog.
April 19, 1848
No water.
An ox died.
I have reached Fort Kearney. I wanted to battle at the Kearny Gym, but I have no Pokémon. I am saddened.
April 21, 1848
No water.
April 24, 1848
No water. Water, Schmater!
April 26, 1848
No grass for the oxen. Well that cuts it.
April 27, 1848
No grass for the oxen. Oxen Oxen Oxen. Why doesn't anyone think about MEE for a change?!!
April 28, 1848
No grass for the oxen. nexo eht rof ssarg oN
^ ^ ^PALINDROME^ ^ ^
April 29, 1848
I have reached Chimney Rock. Again, no Pokémon to battle. NMAD>>>>>>>
May 1, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
^ ^ ^half a palindrome^ ^ ^
May 2, 1848
No water. ICing on the Kace of LIFEE
I have reached Fort Laramie. I hear the Laramie trainer's really bad too.
Darn it all to heck.
I lost 6 pounds of food due to spoilage.
May 3, 1848
Bad water. A little while ago I had no water. I guess it's back and it's badder than ever
I am sick with typhoid fever. Which kinda sux.
May 4, 1848
I decided to rest for 5 days.
I lost 5 pounds of food due to spoilage.
May 10, 1848
I found some wild fruit. Well, that just makes up for the whole damn journey doe'n't it!!!!
May 13, 1848
I am well again. Yaay!
Bad water. Well GEE bad water THANX for ruining the MOOD!!
May 16, 1848
Bad water. I'm BAD water... and you're GOOD water! You're goody-little-TWO-shoes! Goo-dy lit-tle TWO shoes, Goo-dy lit-tle TWO shoes...
May 17, 1848
(stupid) I (stupid) lost the (stupid) trail for 5 (stupid) days. Stupid being the operative word.
May 18, 1848
I lost 2 pounds of food due to spoilage. But STUPID spoilage.
May 22, 1848
I have the measles. Measles schmeasles! I press onward.
May 24, 1848
Heavy fog. Lost 1 day.
May 26, 1848
I found some wild fruit. Saw Splyt Infynytyve's Gravestone. Died because his name had no vowels How BITCHIN!!!
May 27, 1848
I have reached Independence Rock. Nice Rock too bad w/o Nadine the Cat I can't get a Friggin Boulder Badge!!!
May 28, 1848
I was bitten by a snake while trying to catch it in my Pokéball. It bit me. Nadine was mean by dying on me.
[ End of Journal. ]
On May 30, 1848, Johnny Clement died of measles.
Back to the Oregon Tales page