My Diary
By Me

March 1, 1848
We started down the trail with:
Unfortunately we left our S.A.N.I.T.Y. in the trunk of Lombarde's car.

March 3, 1848
A blizzard delayed us 1 day. Sixpence has drawn up plans for a Plague of Frogs machine.
All he needed was some frogs. "I gotcher frogs right here," said Lombarde, pulling three small green frogs out of coat pockets.

March 6, 1848
We have arrived at the Kansas River Crossing. I hope the Water is frozen.

March 8, 1848
We had no trouble floating the wagon across.

March 9, 1848
We shot 10 pounds of meat. Completely in 2-pound ducks. Sure, I used 20 bullets, but I think 5 ducks is pretty impressive.
An Indian helped us find some food. Which is good, because we were seriously in No-Food Land.
We lost the trail for 2 days. How we know it will be two days since we haven't found it yet, I have yet to know.

March 10
Saw a grave by the trail. "Kel Frizzihair."

March 11
Running out of food.
Found trail. It was behind the fridge the whole time! Two days, we were right.

March 13, 1848
We shot 272 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. Codie is our self-proclaimed Buffalo Gal.

March 15, 1848
We have arrived at the Big Blue River Crossing.

March 16, 1848
We had no trouble floating the wagon across.

March 19
Saw grave of one "Uncle Froggy."

March 20, 1848
We have reached Fort Kearney.

March 23, 1848
We shot 510 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. We only used one bullet. Maybe Codie's onto something with that "Buffalo Gal" stuff.

March 26, 1848
A blizzard delayed us 1 day. We like to play in the snow. Whatshisname, Sixpence, makes a Mean hot cocoa.

March 31, 1848
Heavy fog. Lost 1 day. This is doing nothing to melt the snow. I hope it snows all the way to Oregon!!!

April 2, 1848
We have reached Chimney Rock. I like it.

April 3
Saw Rod Zilla's grave. Very tastefully done.

April 5, 1848
We have reached Fort Laramie.

April 7, 1848
We shot 28 pounds of meat. Eight bullets, too. If Codie had done the hunting, this wouldn't have happened. It's all Sixpence's fault. Sure, I was the one doing the hunting, but... well, there were no ducks, OK?
Track Team has a broken leg. Overexertion and too much running, I suspect. Never mind the fact that Track Team is, despite the name, a karate master, not a sprinter.

April 8, 1848
Heavy fog. Lost 1 day.

April 11, 1848
We shot 79 pounds of meat. Fifteen bullets. I'm getting better!

April 12, 1848
Lombarde has the measles.

April 13, 1848
We decided to rest for 3 days. But then I'm leaving, I swear it to you.

April 17, 1848
Sixpence has a fever.

April 18, 1848
We decided to rest for 3 days. I won't give them more than three days per person per sickness. We have to make it to Oregon by June for my Brother's birthday.

April 22, 1848
No water.

April 23, 1848
We shot 158 pounds of meat.
Bad water.
Lombarde has the measles.

April 24, 1848
Lombarde is well again. From the last attack. But he still has the measles.
Bad water.
We decided to rest for 3 days.

April 25, 1848
Sixpence died of dysentery. All not-having-ever-had-dysentery aside, we shall miss him. But this will make the wagon lighter, won't it? I'll trade away his clothes.
No one wanted his clothes (who can blame them? I think Codie misdiagnosed Sixpence, he actually died of Poor Taste in Clothing), so we decided to drop his 2 awful sets of clothing.
We lost 13 pounds of food due to spoilage.

April 29, 1848
We lost the trail for 4 days. Stupid, stupid, STUPID!
At least we can use this time to hunt in not-normally-hunted-in areas.

April 30, 1848
We shot 122 pounds of meat. Eighteen bullets. I just had a pile of corspes and I shot anything that came near it.

May 4, 1848
Lombarde is well again.

May 7, 1848
We lost 9 pounds of food due to spoilage.

May 9, 1848
Track Team is well again. From the broken leg, you know.

May 10, 1848
We have reached Independence Rock. We have to go faster to get to Oregon by next month.
We will now travel at a more strenuous pace.

May 14, 1848
We have arrived at the South Pass. Well well well! That was rather quick. Halfway point now. If we can make it the rest of the way by June 15, we can be there in time for my Brother's birthday. We shall take the Short Cut to Green River. Ready guys? We only got a month...

May 17, 1848
We shot 511 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. Thank you, Buffalo Gal Codie!

May 18, 1848
Heavy fog. Lost 1 day.

May 19, 1848
A fire in our wagon destroyed:
1 set of clothing
37 pounds of food
We hosed down all of Lombarde's fireworks, well, the ones we found. We're sure he must be hiding some. Oh well, at least his second-favorite jumpsuit burned. He deserved it! It was all the grenades hidden in the pockets that led it to destroy our precious buffalo meat, too.

May 21, 1848
We have arrived at the Green River Crossing.

May 22, 1848
We had no trouble floating the wagon across.

May 26, 1848
Bad water.

May 28, 1848
We shot 379 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. That's what I like to hear. Codie is a saint.

May 29
We passed the grave of Spiffles, who Died when all the stars went Supernova. Interesting.

May 29, 1848
We have reached Soda Springs. Mmm... soda.
We can already see Fort Hall in the distance.
Bad water.

May 31, 1848
Bad water.
We have reached Fort Hall. Already.

June 1, 1848
No grass for the oxen.

June 3, 1848
We found some wild fruit.
We gotta reach Oregon in ten days!

June 4, 1848
We will now travel at a more grueling pace.
Lombarde has the measles.

June 5, 1848
We decided to rest for 3 days, no more no less.

June 6, 1848
We lost 14 pounds of food due to spoilage.
Codie has cholera.

June 7, 1848
We decided to rest for 3 days. If all these people keep getting sick we will never make it to Oregon! We only got a week now!

June 9, 1848
Track Team has dysentery.

June 10, 1848
We decided to rest for a day. I'm going back on my 3-day rule because of Extreme Measures.

June 13, 1848
Lombarde died of cholera. THe wagon ought to be lighter, anyway.
We decided to drop his remaining 1 set of clothes.
We decided to drop all the fireworks we could find.

June 15, 1848
Codie is well again. Good for her!
No water.
We lost 3 pounds of food due to spoilage.
Codie has cholera. We're late as it is. We can't wait for her to cure. My new goal is to make it by the end of the month.

June 16, 1848
No water.

June 17, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
We have arrived at the Snake River Crossing.

June 18, 1848
We had no trouble floating the wagon across. Good, we don't need any more complications.

June 19, 1848
We shot 338 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. That better last us to Oregon.
An Indian helped us find some food.

June 20, 1848
Track Team is well again.
We found some wild fruit.
No water.
We saw Mr. Rickety's grave. Something about health.

June 22, 1848
We have reached Fort Boise. Track Team and Codie want to rest, but we press onward.

June 23, 1848
We found some wild fruit.

June 24, 1848
No water.
Track Team was bitten by a snake. She'll have to get over it and stop whining. We don't have much time.

June 25, 1848
Codie is well again.
We lost 21 pounds of food due to spoilage.
Codie is suffering from exhaustion. Awww, poor Codie. Get over it ya bum!!

June 26, 1848
Bad water.

June 27, 1848
Bad water.
We have arrived at the Grande Ronde in the Blue Mountains. We're definitely taking the short cut to the Dalles. We have like 3 days left.

June 29, 1848
Codie died of dysentery. No time to bury or mourn; just dump the corpse over the side. Track Team shrieked at me in a high-pitched voice, but I don't think it slowed us down any because I was driving at the same time. Good, good.

July 1, 1848
Bad water.
Track Team has a broken leg.
Ohmigod it's JULY!!!!!! AAAArgh!! Well, if we hurry we can make it by July 4 for my sister's wedding.

July 2, 1848
Track Team died of dysentery. It's July 2 already! I pushed her over the side.
I decided to drop 4 sets of clothing. I only need two.
I decided to drop 6 boxes of bullets (20/box). I won't be hunting again, I don't need them.
I decided to drop 1 spare wagon wheel.
I decided to drop 1 spare wagon axle.
I decided to drop 1 spare wagon tongue.
I won't need to make any repairs between now and the Dalles.
I decided to drop 100 pounds of food. I only need 47 between now and the Dalles.
I lost 4 pounds of food due to spoilage.

July 3, 1848
I have reached The Dalles.
I decided to ration the food in bare-bones portions. I also dropped all the food left.
I decided to drop 2 sets of clothing. I can raft naked.

Well, I made it across the river! A little late, but my family was glad to see me. They said it wasn't worth the huge sacrifice in human life I had made, though. They're so thoughtful!
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