You're in the LA airport, ready to take off for a month in sunny Japan. You have:

  • your Sailor Moon uniform
  • your copy of Emma
  • some life-savers (for ear poppin')
  • 1 wagon tongue
  • 1 wagon wheel
  • 20 cases of bullets
  • your copy of "How to Say Really Sleazy and Offensive Things in Japanese"
  • a retarded choose your own adventure by your perennially disappointing brother

The East awaits! What do you do?

Get on a plane bound for Japan.

Skip Japan, I'll go home and play Playstation all summer!

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