"Took you long enough, eh?" inquires Paul. He is wearing a Toronto Raptors jersey and carrying a kayak. Laura is wearing a Canadian flag, belted by a simple rope, and is whittling some native Inuit art. "Oh no," you realize, "I've left them too long in Canada! They've spoiled!"

Laura and Paul spend the rest of the day talking about Canadian Tyre money and their shoe size and they pronounce the word "ferry" as if it were spelled "faerie" and they make up clever little insulting names for America, like "United Smells of America" and "Americsmell." You kill them.


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