You don't know much about Ontario, so you look it up in the back of your passport,where there's a little essay about it. Apparently Ontario was started by Benjamin Franklin, who was fleeing religious persecution in the States. The capital of Ontario is called "Franklin's Roost" and instead of the pledge of allegiance, school children recite that essay Franklin wrote about farting. The national bird is the bifocal.

When you get to Ontario, it turns out that at least half the facts in your passport are wrong. But that's not important now; don't get so hung up on Ontario. The important thing is finding Paul and Laura. How do you plan to do that, genius?

Go into a phone booth and look up "Redcloud"

Wander the streets aimlessly

Start Again