Jerry Bruckheimer Plot Generator

The Plot...

A barge loaded with thermo-nuclear explosives has been stolen by a lunatic (Anthony Quinn). With the aid of a private chemical specialist, the FBI hopes to intercept the pilfered computer chips and return them to their owner. The NCRP, with the help of Nicholas Speedgood (Denzel Washington), must motorbike through the Swiss Alps to return the hijacked thermo-nuclear explosives promptly to the Japanese people.

And if this wasn't enough, he has a smidge less than 15 hours to do it.

With the help of a retired veteran (Sean Connery), our hero must race through the rain forest to deliver the stolen thermo-nuclear explosives in a timely manner to the English military. All this turns sour as he figures out that his sister in-law (Charlize Theron) has been carjacked by the the bad guys.

Along with this we have the screwball tomfoolery of a jive talkin' black man (Dave Chapelle) who when kidnapped by the evildoers says: "What the FUCK!?!?"

All this won't be easy seeing that a cop with a vendetta (Samuel L. Jackson) has information about his ugly criminal record. Just as our heroes are departing on their dangerous journey, they stupidly lapse into a sing-along of September '63 much to the embarrassment of the NCRP .

In a stunning climax the President recites a decree to the peoples of the world. As this dramatic grandstanding drags on he says: "This has been the most difficult decision I have ever had to make. Drop the bombs, Commander." A CIA weapons hacker watching a TV in a store window replies: "I just hope we're not too late."

Coming next winter.

Rated PG-13
Running time 104 minutes
Directed by: Wes Craven

Projected Critic Rating: 1 star

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