The Plot... A cargo jet loaded with government secrets has been stolen by a good guy gone bad (John Lithgow). With the help of a contracted weapons expert, the NCAA hopes to intercept the borrowed goods and return them to their owner. The FBI, with the help of Bufford Henchstitch (Ed Begely, Jr.), must jet ski through the San Fransisco to deliver the pilfered thermo-nuclear explosives promptly to the Argentinian government. As if this wasn't enough, he has a mere 5 minutes to do it. With the help of a retired navy seal (Bruce Willis), the good guy must skateboard through the New Jersy Turnpike to return the borrowed thermo-nuclear explosives safely to the Argentinian military. All this worsens as he realises that his 8th grade Social Studies teacher (Catherine Zeta-Jones) has been carjacked by the evildoers. Along with this you see the madcap slapstick of a smart alec black man (Dave Chapelle) who when held prisoner by the the bad guys says: "You are some scary ass niggas!" All this will prove difficult because an old rival with a score to settle (Al Pacino) has secrets about his sordid life of crime. Just as our hero are departing on their suicidal journey, they poorly all burst into a sing-along of Hotel California much to the disappointment of the PMRC . At the final moment the President recites a decree to the peoples of the world. While this dramatic grandstanding unfolds he says: "This has been the most difficult decision I have ever had to make. This is the dawn of a new tomorrow." A PMRC chemical hacker in the crowd answers this with: "I hope god is on our side." Coming next spring. This film is not yet rated. Running time 204 minutes Directed by: Simon West Projected Critic Rating:

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