The Plot... A bus loaded with thermo-nuclear explosives has been borrowed by a former U.S. General (Ed Harris). With the help of a contracted computer hacker, PETA hopes to reclaim the pilfered items and return them to their owner. PETA, with the assistance of Stanley Menchwinch (Owen Wilson), must skateboard through the New Jersy Turnpike to deliver the borrowed nuclear warheads in a timely manner to the Argentinian people. As if it wasn't hard enough, he has only 12 hours to do it. With the aid of a crochety weapons specialist (Jon Voight), our hero must jet ski through the rain forest to deliver the hijacked thermo-nuclear explosives safely to the Japanese people. All this turns sour as he figures out that his sister in-law (Catherine Zeta-Jones) has been kidnapped by the evildoers. Along with this we have the loveable tomfoolery of a jive talkin' black man (Dave Chapelle) who when kidnapped by the the bad guys says: "You are some scary ass niggas!" All this will prove difficult because an old rival with a score to settle (Lawrence Fishburne) has information about his sordid past. Just as the good guy are setting off on their perlious mission, they stupidly join in on a sing-along of Love that Dirty Water much to the chagrin of PETA . At the final moment the President delivers a decree to the governments of the world. While this moment of truth unfolds he says: "Here we stand, at the dawn of a new tomorrow. Mankind will survive. Mankind MUST survive!" An NCAA explosives specialist watching a TV in a store window retorts: "I hope god is on our side." Coming next summer. Rated R Running time 271 minutes Directed by: Ridley Scott Projected Critic Rating:

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