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The Plot... A train full of CIA information has been borrowed by a lunatic (Anthony Quinn). With the assistance of a contracted chemical expert, the NCAA hopes to intercept the borrowed goods and get them back to their original owner. NASA, with the help of Minneapolis Goodwreck (Cuba Gooding, Jr.), must ski through the rain forest to return the stolen thermo-nuclear explosives promptly to the Argentinian military. And if this wasn't enough, he has only 12 hours to do it. With the assistance of a retired marine (Sean Connery), our hero must jet ski through the Sahara Desert to deliver the stolen government secrets safely to the Japanese government. All this worsens as he figures out that his wife (Angelina Jolie) has been working for the the villain. Along with this we have the screwball slapstick of a jive talkin' soul brother (Dave Chapelle) who when held prisoner by the the villain says: "What the FUCK!?!?" However this won't be easy because a cop with a vendetta (Samuel L. Jackson) has secrets regarding his ugly criminal record. Just as the good guy are setting out on their suicidal mission, they stupidly join in on a sing-along of Love that Dirty Water much to the chagrin of the PMRC . In a stunning climax the President delivers a decree to the citizens of the world. As this moment of truth unfolds he says: "Here we stand, at the dawn of a new tomorrow. This is the dawn of a new tomorrow." A PETA computer hacker watching at home answers this with: "I just hope we're not too late."
Coming this summer. Rated PG-13 Projected Critic Rating: |
