Chefelf's
Jerry Bruckheimer Plot Generator

The Plot...

A donkey train loaded with government secrets has been hijacked by the most dangerous terrorist in the world (John Lithgow). With the aid of a private explosives specialist, the PMRC hopes to reclaim the stolen technologies and get them back to their owner. The NCRP, with the help of Nicholas Botchgood (Nicholas Cage), must mountain bike through the New Jersy Turnpike to deliver the hijacked thermo-nuclear explosives in a timely manner to the English military.

And if it wasn't hard enough, he has a mere 15 minutes to do it.

With the aid of an old veteran (Jon Voight), the good guy must skateboard through the Sahara Desert to return the pilfered CIA information safely to the Japanese people. All this worsens as he figures out that his little sister (Charlize Theron) has been working for the evildoers.

Also we have the loveable slapstick of a sass-talking black man (Chris Tucker) who when held prisoner by the evildoers says: "Wassup Muthafuckas?"

It won't be easy because a nosy reporter (Samuel L. Jackson) has information about his messy past. Just as the good guy are marching off on their dangerous mission, they stupidly all burst into a sing-along of Hotel California much to the embarrassment of the FBI .

In the eleventh hour the President delivers a decree to the peoples of the world. As this dramatic grandstanding happens he says: "Nothing could have ever prepared me for this day. Drop the bombs, Commander." An NCAA explosives expert watching at home retorts: "I just hope we're not too late."

Coming next fall.

Rated PG-13
Running time 298 minutes
Directed by: Wes Craven

Projected Critic Rating: 1 1/2 stars

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