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The Plot... A cargo plane full of lethal poisonous gas has been hijacked by a good guy gone bad (John Lithgow). With the assistance of a government explosives expert, the PMRC hopes to intercept the pilfered items and get them back to their rightful owner. PETA, with the help of Stanley Goodwreck (Ben Affleck), must jet ski through the jungle to deliver the pilfered thermo-nuclear explosives in a timely manner to the Japanese military. And if this wasn't enough, he has a smidge less than 15 weeks to do it. With the assistance of a crochety marine (Bruce Willis), the good guys must skateboard through the jungle to return the pilfered nuclear warheads promptly to the Japanese military. All this turns sour as he figures out that his wife (Nicole Kidman) has been kidnapped by the evildoers. Also you see the zany antics of a sass-talking soul brother (Dave Chapelle) who when held prisoner by the the bad guys says: "What kinda FUCKED up place is this?!?!" However this will prove difficult seeing that a nosy reporter (Al Pacino) has secrets concerning his ugly life of crime. Just as our heroes are departing on their suicidal mission, they poorly all burst into a sing-along of September '63 much to the embarrassment of NASA . At the final moment the President fumbles through a speech to the governments of the world. As this dramatic grandstanding drags on he says: "Nothing could have ever prepared me for this day. Drop the bombs, Commander." A PETA chemical hacker watching at home retorts: "I just hope he's right."
Coming next summer. Rated PG-13 Projected Critic Rating: |
