novembre 12, 2002
Good Grief.

Look what I discovered on the internet. This. It's some little kitten's "blog" - God forbid anyone should ever accuse me of having a blog! although apparently someone has been uploading my own secret diary entries to the internet, but when you keep your diary on your fire escape there is little more you could expect! - but it's titled "Confessions of An Anonymous Blonde." She may think that she's an anonymous blonde, sweetheart, but no one is blonder or more anonymous than myself. Jesus Christ, I hate diaryland. I found it when I discovered that bitchy ex-schoolmate's bitchy comments about me, and I've yet to encounter a single person who writes on it who is not, as my French businesswoman friend Jennyfer would have put it, nulle.

Anyway, let me know who you think is sexier, please. Me or the impostor.

In other news, I have not yet had the drink I was meant to have with Stephen, although I made myself sick with all the mooning and airwalking I did about him on Sunday morning, breathing with difficulty and singing with nervous joy as I mopped and cooked and hemmed curtains and whatever else I did. He actually called me that afternoon, but I inadvertantly followed the Rules and told him I had another engagement. Because I did, with Polly to go see Sweet Home Alabama. Yes, I know. Yes, it was exactly as pleasant as it ought to have been, and it was in a theater where each of the different auditoriums had a different old-Hollywood name and was decorated in the style of a different fallen civilization. The Olympia had some kind of golden-and-green Grecian birdie, the Valencia Moorish abstract vegetation, et cetera et cetera. Ours was called the Avalon, but instead of being stained with woad and covered in intricately worked beasties, it seemed rather Olmec. Odd.

But we are going to see each other. So there you are.

Posted by anonymousblonde at novembre 12, 2002 06:25 PM

FYI-I have never even heard of you, and the title "anonymous blonde" has no copyright. I am infact anonymous, and blonde...It is no competition, nor is it a beauty/sexuality contest. I don't put my links on search engines, and I personally don't give my diary any publicity. I have no problems with Diaryland,and no qualms with anyone else who keeps any kind of journal/blog/diary, whatever. I am truly hoping that you speak only in jest and fun, and that you aren't trying to put down the fact that I am simply living my life and keeping my thoughts, just as you are, on a web journal. There is no reason to be catty or bitchy about someone else having a common name. Infact, when I see that someone has the same screen name/alias/I find it to be an interestingly good thing. Dare I say it-I see it as great minds thinking alike. You cannot call me an imposter, when I have never even heard of you until you checked out MY site. Thanks for your time, AB.

Posted by: StarKitten01 on novembre 12, 2002 08:45 PM

Dear StarKitten,

I've made a couple of efforts at replying to your comment, and all of them have ended with the computer freezing or turning off or getting unplugged or being doused in so much orange juice that it short-circuits, but the gist of what I was attempting to say is this: I'm really impressed with the grace and relative good humor you've displayed after having had your personal identity (or personal anonymity, whatever we might want to call it) attacked by a complete stranger (and a strange, bitchy, pen-and-ink stranger at that), and I sincerely apologize for any discomfort or distress I might have caused you. As you suspected, my diatribe against your journal was completely & utterly in fun, and by no stretch of the imagination should it, or anything else that might turn up in this journal, be taken seriously. My contempt for internet journals is obviously belied by the fact that my own journal somehow or other manages to appear on the internet (even though I swear to you that I only write my thoughts in a little notebook; some weird alchemical process transmits them to the ether), and my mock contempt for your journal stems from several sources, none of which have their roots in the design or content of your journal, your life, or your personality.

First of all, I like to cultivate a public image of general irreverence and bitchiness and egotism, and in my days as a popular sex-columnist (it was advice; God forbid I should be Carrie Bradshaw) this delighted my various jaded and terrible fans and managed to creep into my writing voice forevermore. However, I really shouldn't allow it to hurt people's feelings, and I don't want it to, and I don't mean for it to, so I apologize. Second of all, I have had a couple of negative experiences with diaryland diaries that I've found on google searches for my own (anonymous) name -- someone else said something unforgivably bitchy and kind of unfathomable about me, and she had never met me before & knew nothing of my real soul & heart & so on & so forth and had no right to say anything about them, and I suppose in some sick but psychologically classic way I had to pass this sensation on to you.

So, no, I don't mind at all that you are your own anonymous blonde, and though I might consider myself The Anonymous Blonde, I don't have any legal rights to the name -- and wouldn't want them, anyway. I mean, an anonymous blonde is an archetype, for God's sake. Anonymous blondes should and do proliferate hugely and deliciously in our culture.

And I never accused you of trying to emulate me in some way or stealing from my journal -- I knew perfectly well that you'd never seen it before. I couldn't really decide between e-mailing you and telling you about how we both had the same funny pseudonym or making a bitchy, competitive comment about you in my own journal, and now I rather wish I had done the former. I hope there are no hard feelings. You have a lovely website and your design portfolio is beautiful and elegant and your Marilyn is irreproachable.

Much much love,


Posted by: the anonymous blonde on novembre 13, 2002 12:09 AM

Thanks for the messages. I really do appreciate knowing the jist of it. I was wondering why someone would *seriously* take such a thing as an alias internet name so personally. I thought it was pretty cool that we used the same name, lol! And I HAVE to agree on the search engine/diaryland thing..I was a bit shocked when I realized that people could just type in random words and suddenly your diary is on a damned search engine! It is a bit crazy to me, but I've swept it off and taken it w/ a grain of salt. I'm sorry to hear about the entries that you mentioned being uploaded somehow. Honestly, that is scary.:( I looked into other diary sites and wasn't really as satisfied w/ the options as I was w/ diaryland..and from then on it just stuck and I stayed around. It is quite therapeutic for me to talk, blab,ramble,bitch(*always* using alias names, btw), whatever the case may be..on there. I really appreciate the compliments on my site and how it looks! And after reading your messages, I see it was a form of flattery and therefore I thank you! :) I was *hoping* that it was done in jest, as a form of flattery, I just wasn't sure. Please accept my apologies for any venting that I did when I was not sure of the motive. I actually saw the site and wished to put it on my favorites list so as to come back by and read updates, which I still plan to do. So you've gained another reader out of it, as well:) Again, no hard feelings here. I'm glad the air is cleared about the whole thing, and it makes sense now.. I'm very flattered, and thank you:) Happy holidays.
Very Sincerely,
StarKitten01 :0)

Posted by: StarKitten01 on novembre 13, 2002 01:24 AM

The thing that bugs me about diaryland is that every time I see it I read it as "Dairyland". That is just distracting but it just my stupid brain's fault.

Posted by: Chefelf on novembre 13, 2002 05:29 PM

Yeah, I totally do that too. It's weird.

Hey, Anonymous Blonde! Long time no see.

Posted by: Caolan on novembre 13, 2002 09:10 PM

Oh, Anonymous Blonde, your caustic-ness (causticity?) has done you in again. But your little spat was resolved with an admirable swfitness and grace, and I am heartened by the tendresse that is being splashed about the cyberworld.

Livejournal, easyjournal, diaryland ... I cannot keep it all straight. Does everyone but I have a blog? And if I have no blog, can I truly be as known as I imagine myself to be?

Posted by: A Known Brunette on décembre 8, 2002 03:02 PM

u suk

Posted by: Chris on février 27, 2003 05:49 PM

If I said anything clever in response to that I really couldn't respect myself. Not because I was responding to something that wasn't worth cleverness, but because I think responding with acid grace to criticism is lame.

Posted by: the anonymous blonde on avril 1, 2003 01:13 AM

why do you stupid women think its cool or interesting to put your dumbass thoughts about your dumbass lives on the internet?? you just tried to start shit with someone you had a problem with, and instead of starting shit, you all turn 'oooh i'm soo sorry i said something mildly offensive to someone i'll never know or meet or talk to, let me kiss ass for a few days, i want to make sure we're steadfast friends!! forget that shit, and forget
Fucked up


aerosmith said it best, you women suck at life.

Posted by: forget F.I.N.E. house wives on mai 19, 2004 02:20 PM

Ooh, you're a real guy! I thought you were spam. Hooray for you being real!

And you're right about everything! The weird thing is that I don't put my diary on the internet. It just ends up there, like by magic.

Also, you are so awesome at writing acrostics. I wish I WERE a fine housewife.

Posted by: The AB on mai 26, 2004 09:21 PM
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